Systems of Control

I don’t know how to talk about meditation anymore.

I do the kind where I stop not-meditating and then meditation meditates itself. There is a whole shtick and vocabulary and “school” for this, but I don’t want to talk about it that way, because I don’t want to play team sports.

I don’t even know why I WANT to talk about meditation anymore, except that I can’t talk about life without talking about it.

I know why I want to talk about life. Because it helps.

I must admit that there is a strong urge in me to correct incorrectness in pursuits that are called “spiritual.” It’s not just out of some sense of propriety or sanctity. It’s a liberation thing. It’s almost political. I want people to be free.

It strikes me as incorrect when spiritual practices, postures, or attitudes reinforce systems of control. Frankly, they usually do. In my experience, when wisdom is manifesting, it does so as spontaneity and improvisation, not as control.

Discipline is not the same as control. Discipline is commitment to trying. The only loss of discipline is in not trying. Control is absolute. If the controller loses control, things are out of control. Through discipline, one can learn to improvise when out of control.

i.e. always. Nothing is under control. It’s just that, from a human vantage point, things can spiral out of control quickly or slowly.

The control systems I’m concerned with AREN’T in control. They’re LYING to perpetuate themselves. And a person can impose that lie on oneself.

What do I want to say?

“‘Baba wawa’ — is anything said or not?

In the end it says nothing, for the words are not yet right.”